A Thousand Miles

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

"New Life" @ 7:59 AM

New Life

I've been sitting around this life for years,
Not enough laughs and too many tears.
Trying to figure out where it all went,
These wasted years that I have spent.

Searching for something to go beyond,
Life's a stone skipping across a pond.
At the last skip, it hits with a splash,
Down the stone sinks, gone in a flash.

Pushing and pulling, it's tearing apart,
Poking and prodding an underused heart.
This dark velvet curtain that hides my soul,
Living this life has taken it's toll.

In a flash of bright light, the curtain is torn,
Tumbling down all tattered and worn.
Revealing new life, a child within,
Born free of hate, of suffering and sin.

Now my eyes see what has never been told,
Striving forth happy, confident and bold.
Into a world that's unfamiliar but friendly,
Into this new life my spirit will send me.

Living and laughing, loving it all,
I stood myself up and answered the call.
The darkness has gone, replaced by the light,
I gave up the darkness with hardly a fight.

I've been sitting around this life for years,
With laughter aplenty and hardly a tear.
Now I can see just where it all went,
Cherish every moment of this new life I've spent.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

"I Don't Want To Be Just Friends!" @ 4:40 PM

I Don't Want To Be Just Friends!

At 6.29pm, I sent her a message asking what she is doing right now. She replied and stated that she's in her grandad's house chatting with her long unseen cousin. Before that, we were talking about a horror game called hotel626, which she introduced to me. I lied to her that I was shocked and my heart pop out, so I replied to her to give me her heart in return. She replied and said that her heart is still vacant, can't find owner yet. I asked if I can do anything to buy her heart away and requested her to stat all the Terms&Conditions and would try my best to fulfill it.

On that moment, I was so anticipated for her answer, it's like proposing or asking her whether we could be together. I prayed in my heart that she'll agree being with me. But I was wrong, cause in the end, it ended up as pain and dissapointment. She said, "mayb wait til we get to know each other more..k? =]". On the other message she stated, "Hey..to tel de truth..i lik it lik this!!must i hv to be ur gf..?i lik it to be lik this much more better..". When I read it, my heart shattered into million pieces, it felts like I was stabed right through and deep inside my heart. My eyes were watery but my tears just won't drop, I can feel the sadness within my heart but I'm trying my best to stay strong. I should've know that this would be the ending.

To her, I was just a "very good fren" which makes her feel more comfortable with. It was always sweet to see her messages and I enjoyed the complicated feelings while waiting her messages. I always wished that I could officially be with her. Now I'm just making myself more dissapointments.

Aiming for the sky, felling to the ground.

Can't it be another way not just to be friends?!

Friday, December 26, 2008

"Be Part Of Her Life" @ 5:28 PM

Be Part Of Her Life

Lately, every day and night, my mind was all about her. Every moment, every minute, every seconds.. I just can't seem to get her off my mind even a second. Usually, my first thought whenever i woke up was about my daily activities. Now, what I could see is her. Everything seems so beautiful in thoughts.

One night, she asked me why I like her so much and what I liked about her. I don't really know what to reply. Cause love to me is unexplainable, unnatural. On that night, I kept thinking about her, about what she wrote. I thought to myself and sadness felt deep within. I wished to cry outloud, but-I can't. I wished, sooner or later.. She would let me in to be part of her life.

'JV...I love you..', cried myself.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

""I can't answer dat..let God decides..."" @ 3:36 PM

"I can't answer dat..let God decides..."

I asked if she'll ever forget me someday and fall for another guy. She answers back to me with these words, "I can't answer dat..let God decides...". It really hurts to hear this but yet true, nothing is parmenant and forever. I always wished to be with her, bring her out or even spend my entire holidays just with her. But none of this could ever happen, theres just to much blockage on our ways. I wanted to let her know that I really care for her, willingly to sacrafice no matter how much it'll take. She asked me if I'll wait for her answer, without hesitate, I agreed. Even I know that we'll not end up being together, yet I don't wanna give her up. Deep in my heart, I lied to myself, that nothings going to happen, things will be just fine. But I'm afraid time is no longer available, I'm not sure we're able to wait for each other as school holiday's about to end.

Dear, I wondered when....

Saturday, December 20, 2008

"|ll|ll|ll|ll|ll|" @ 6:21 PM

llllllllll

in my darkest moments

you`re the light.in my weakest moments

you`re the pillar.

& in my happiest moments

you`re the REASON...

the reason for me to go on.

if love is like a ride...

you made it worthwhile.

if love is like a river...

ours will always flow.

if love is a dream...

i would want to sleep forever.

[This poem is composed for someone special, my best friend, who walks with me throughout my lonely holidays. JV, thx!]

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

"The Door Of Life" @ 9:51 PM

The Door Of Life

Thinking of you, wherever you are.
We pray for our sorrows to end, and hope that our hearts will blend.
Now I will step forward to realize this wish.
And who knows:
Starting a new journey would not be so hard,
or maybe it has already begun.
There are many worlds,
But they share the same sky-
one sky,
one destiny.