A Thousand Miles

Thursday, April 21, 2011

"A Bad Dream" @ 1:33 AM

As time goes by, I began staring at the girl. She was my so called "good friend". Although we know each other only the start of the year. I stared at her once a while; on her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. -that we're just friends, and nothing more.

A coincidence, a fortune or a luck draws; while looking around, a sudden glimpse from my eyes meets as she checked on her phone. 'Husband', a contact name was written there, mind told me, 'It is okay and you should've known that'. Pretend unnoticed, and kept in my inner-conflicts, placing my usual self on stage. Truth tells; I wanted to ask her, I wanted her to know, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

On this special day, 15th, we went for a lunch and a LA movie, she walked up to me, right at my side and close in distance, without any hesitance. As we smiled and laughed along the walkway unfazed by the flow of time. That moment; I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I like her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Many days since then, many times seemed; I was covetous, jealous -as I saw my closest friend hanging near her. Even that I know I was being foolish, convinced myself that nothing could've happen between, but the latter declines. My sight blinded as enviness deepens, my heart, a wild turbulent formed. My facial expression, depressed and sometimes cold, bearing inside a pain held in my chest.

Maybe all was just a bad dream, maybe it was only me. She didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. A day passed, then a week, then a month, I pretend to be just friend, as she wanted. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. Maybe, maybe we weren't meant to be.

21st now, I told myself, I will stay on by her side, we may not be; but as hope still I see. I will wait till the time where all dreams lives.
I will not emo again,

-JasonT

Thursday, April 14, 2011

"Times." @ 3:59 AM

I thought, maybe i was a sadist.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

"2 Sides of Love" @ 3:09 AM

His side
-"tell her how you feel" is what my friends said
-so i picked up the phone
-called your house
-you answerd
-i said "i love you"
-and hung up right after
-the next day
-i told you it was a bet from a friend
-it was partly true
-but you didnt answer
-no sassy come back which you always do
-just stood there
-then walked away

My side
-he called my house
-i picked up
-he told me he loved me
-then hung up
-the next day
-i was going to tell you i loved you back
-but you said it was a bet
-i had everything planned out
-every move i planned
-every word
-but when you said that...
-i had nothing to say
-i stood and watched you
-as you broke my heart

Friday, April 8, 2011

"You can't "just be friends" with the person you're in love with.." @ 12:27 AM

i just wanna say
that i'm sorry
i know i haven't been myself lately
but just let me explain

have you ever had someone
that made you smile but you were afraid to let them in
have you never felt so wrong
that if you hide your feelings you know you never win
i haven't been straight up with you
cause i'm afraid you would leave if i told you the truth
you wanna know why it is taking me so long to open up my heart
girl i'm falling for you, but please don't get me wrong

i'm afraid of love cause the pain was too deep to handle
it was so random
i need to find my key, open up my heart
but i'm scared if you ever leave
i'm afraid of love
why does it have to be this way ?
if i wasn't fooled before, i wouldn't be afraid of love,

baby, i don't wanna sound selfish
but i understand if you wanna stop loving me
cause it is hard for me to let you in
i'm sorry.

i'm afraid of the day when i cant let you go