A Thousand Miles

Saturday, October 24, 2009

"What If?" @ 1:38 AM

What if you know that the bestfriend who you always treasure does not feel the same about you?
What if one day you went shopping and you see him with all other friends without inviting you?
What if you forgive him in heart and it happened another time as if God wants you to know?
What would you react to these friends?
What if you yelled and scold him and them badly?
What if you head straight and punch them instead?
What if..., you ran away to and pretend that there's no exist of this memory?

If you had a friend like that, what would you do?
You treat him as good friend of yours and updates him anytime.
He needs something, with your open-kind heart, you gave to him. But in return, there's nothing.
He does not wait for you like how you always do.
He does not care about your feelings as he cares the other two.

No respect will I show to this person, no loyalty will there be anymore. As he has been blinded by all the others from a 'just' me. I do not deserve to be like this, he's just not worthy.

Today, my mood's not that good. It was okay when the whole afternoon till tonight's Physic tuition. Something happened.
Because of her, I felt so bad. Because of her, I felt unhappy. Because of her, I felt dissapoint. Because of her, I felt embarrassed.
How come she could affect me like that? I felt like I'm wreck through that time. She's just an ordinary person. There is others who also gave comments and critics, but I felt ok and I did not get upset nor anything negative. But whatever it seems that she said to me, leaves a scar to remember.
Maybe, I've thought too much. Maybe it's just a sudden flood of confused emotions. Go take a sleep and you'll be find the next day.

This coming Sunday, I'm moving to a new house. I've been talking bout it and my friends knew it since last year. Finally we're ready to move. My new house is located at Segar Perdana. It's a double-storey semi-D. I think it's counted as 2 and a 1/2 story now coz there a small third story built. Hope my house would be nice. I haven't seen it yet, not with all the paints and furnitures on. The new area's great. Privated and secured. Very near to Econsave and plenty of shoplots around. Quite convenient.

Lately, I think there's something wrong in me. I'm starting to forget things and my emotions and responses became so dull. I'm guessing I'm having some big illness. I felt weak and stupid. There's this few symptoms which really bothers me.
etc;
1. I yawn frequently and feels lack of oxygen which makes me easily sleepy
2. My memory to memorise things become very thin and easily forgets
3. My thoughts starting to become typical from complex.
4. Charismatic skills getting worse and couldn't present my ideas continuously
5. The question is simple to solve but it seems like my brain got lagged and interprets slow

Those are a few of the symptoms which I think I'm experiencing nowadays. I feel I'm getting nuts.
Doctor, doctor, where are you? x_X

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"First Ever Made Music Vid!" @ 12:57 PM

Hi guys, I do not have much time here so I'm not gonna blog much for this post as I've to study after this. As much as I could. I made this video of mine yesterday night around 10-12pm. I edited and uploaded it on YouTube at around 2am.
This song is called "I'm so Lonely", written by me. I somehow got inspired and come out with the music a week ago. Later then, I decided to make it a song instead. I used guitar as sheet music which is in a simpler version. It may not be the best, but I like it as it is.
Hope you guys will like it too and rate it high-high =P

URL-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6nzUqbJIO4

I’m So Lonely
By: Jason Thow

Remember three years back
You cried and you were sad
I looked at your face with sorrow
And said everything will go away

you looked at me and smile
Like fairy from the clouds
I kissed you at the mouth
Then our days started being about

you’re so lovely, so amusing
The moments of joys we had
Feel so happy, you’re my daisy
The memories of times of path

They you said you were upset,
I can see that you’re pretty mad
You claim you know where I went
But that’s not what I really am

How did our eyes get so red
Don’t tell that this is fate
Remember the tapes we made
It was of our glory days

I’m so lonely, said I’m sorry
Our love you had forget
You’re so lovely, makes me crazy
The life of once we had

I’m so lonely, feel so empty
The joys of times we had
You’re so lovely, makes me crazy
Please come back to me

I never want to loose you
I just want you to stay
I know I once was wrong
But I don’t know what to say

I never want you to leave me
I’m sorry of what I’ve did
Now I just want to tell you
Don’t let it be
I’m sorry; please forgive me

I’m so lonely, feel so empty
Our love you had forget,
You’re so lovely, makes me crazy
The life of once we had

I’m so lonely, feel so empty
The life of once we had
Feel so crazy, you’re so lovely
You’re my life, my melody

Monday, October 12, 2009

"Suicide Mission #X0X0" @ 12:15 AM

The time is 12.28am now.

I've decided, decided to be determined. Determined to stop playing and fooling around for 4 straight weeks! No more computer, no more gaming, no more 1day watch 3movies. No more, no more!! All my time, wasted. Today, I tried studying chemistry. It took quite an effort to push myself mentally to go upstairs to study. Well, I did manage to go upstairs and study..until 20minutes later, I fall asleep...zzz...for 2Hours! Can't believe it! I study for 20minutes and slept for 2hours after it. Ask me, are books really that boring? The answer is here, "YES, IT IS!!"
After I woke up, I had no mood to face the book at all after the computer games, what-so-ever has distracted my mind since the morning I was on it till afternoon. So I went watch television instead, then after my brother was done playing. I went playing, till now! I feel kind of guilt. Not to anyone, but myself for not studying. Therefore, I've decided! I'm gonna launch this Suicide Mission #X0X0. I made the name up myself. I kind of serious of what I'm about to plan to do here. For my future, even how much I dislike studying, not to mention the books, I will not give up my studies for my future sake. So, I'll just try my best and not be distracted by the computer. Here's my plan, I'm gonna stop using computer starting tomorrow or right after I shut the computer down, whichever comes first. I'm not gonna use it until my exam's over which I still not sure when yet. Exam starts on 27th, today's date is 11th. Time is really getting short for me. I know I cannot perfect my studies but I've to at least let myself understand 70% of all. No more online till it ends, but I will online every 3days for 1hour or maybe 2hours for checking up my Facebook game, Yoville, and blogging =P

I saw my mum's post, a.k.a. Yee Lynn, she said something bout life is hard. Yeah, life is hard..
Holy crapp x) Next year, everyday I'm gonna study. I'm gonna make this oath to myself on December 25th. I want to be sincerely and really promised myself that I will do it internally and eternally. 1year of pain for an everlasting change to an easier future of goodness. Does it worth it? Definitely but the process will not be that easy. Many circumstances will come on it's way to us and have to endure no matter how. Determination.

I just finished playing DOTA with my friends, it's my second time playing since half year ago. The first time was today's afternoon. It seems that I'm not bad. So long no play still quite good at it. =D
Oh ya, today I watched 'X-Men Origins : Wolverine' movie followed by G-Force. It's kind of nice, but not really my type. BK said watch movie better, I know better la but need pay money worr.. Moreover the movies I download 100% the cinema version, even better...haha
Btw, he likes manga. oO

I wonder, can I pull it over myself? Sense of emotions chilling through my spines.
Ohhs, anyone know the Korean drama series, 'Sassy Girl Chun Hyang'? I love it so so much! It's really nice, frickin nice. Do wished I had that kind of life, it'll be so cool, and romantic. I'm seaching for the chinese version, which I once watched on 8TV few years back. From then onwards, I've never stop finding it from time to time via online or shops outside. Everywhere I see, it's all in Korean version, I wanted it in chinese!! Urrgghh~~

Here's the LINK , take a look and if you ever see or found it, do let me know ASAP!!

Thanks a million!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

"What a Day!" @ 12:45 AM

It may be October, Sunday 11th now. But I'm not asleep yet, it's 12.46am. So, let's take it as it's still Saturday ya.. Today I've polished every of my BB accessories quite early. It's kind of cool that I actually did that. Usually I do it at last minute. Gratz =)

Alrite, bout in church, the song practice session did not really go out well. I'm kind of nervous. I tried to be confident of the decisions I made and I know it's right. What I actually feel not right today is that I need more experience and practice and more self-confidence in me. The way I interpret things and the way I'm trying to send the message to a person. It's actually my second time being a songleader. The 1st time was quite long ago, I can't even remember when. At least I think I've learnt something valuable in this time's leading. I will try my best to improve my leadership. During singing, the Blessed Be Your Name song, there's this small part where we got mixed up and got wrong..shyt. But luckily we manage it okay. I want to thank those who was by my side guiding. And BanKok & Feli for helping out and also reminding me the signals to show, which I keep forgetting which comes 1st or 2nd -.- I think I should start practicing on how to be an emcee. Charismatic skills are important. Arrgh...

Today after BB, I continue watching the "Pursuit of Happyness" movie which I'd watched half before I left house. Quite touching, seriously. Afterwards, I watched Turning Point aka Laughing Gor. Actually I've watched it already, but I still felt like watching it over again. =P

After that, I start surfing webs. Played some Yoville Facebook games and continues surfing and google-ing bout the world's richest man and Malaysia's richest. Chated with some of my friends who's quite good in computer stuffs (hacking, gaming, softwares.etc) bout jobs. It reminds me of my once long, long ago dreams and visions of what I truely wanted in the future. That is, Fame-Wealth-Respect x)
Then I thought of finding a job for after holidays. I want to be rich, I want money. So I'm planning to earn 2K for this long term holidays or minimum 1.5k which is my target. I remember last year's holiday, I was 15 and I earned Rm600! I worked as a caterer and extra-actor for Mediacorp studios. Hopefully I can find a job which pays minimum RM50 a day and not more than 8working hours including lunch and rest time. In this coming holiday, I have much big plans. I hope I can make hay while the sun still shines. That is to find acting and singing chances or competitions. Hopefully my Mediacorp agency would want me back this holiday for acting. Coz it's been quite some time since I last contact her. God, bless me, bless my dreams to come true. I want to be someone in this world.

By the way, the church's organising a singing competition, it registration fee is RM10 -.-
Definitely I'll join. Haven't decide on what song I'll sing. The song I'm going to choose is non-christian. Hope I'll win, get 3rd also nvm. At least I will try my best and more stage experience. But most importantly - get a prize that'll make your RM10 worth it =x
I'm chatting with Karen Ho now, updated with her. =x Somehow, I feel a bit envy. She put a lot of effort for what she liked and persues for it. Morever, she has support from her family. Wished I had the same...lol? Hope that she'll success one day! (don't forget me arr) x.X

Haha.. That's for today!!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

"Recents" @ 10:29 AM

Gosh, gosh.. Yesterday, in one day, I've watched 3movies weh! The Time Machine in the morning, Meet The Spartans in the afternoon and The Proposal at night. Lols~! I did study, I tried to pull myself up but each time I try to focus, a while later I'll start to snore. ==
Now, I'm downloading Pursuit Of Happyness, a sad-touching movie I think. In two days, I've wasted it on Physics. I should've studied my Chemistry at least one complete chapter, well not really complete besides the essay part.

By the way, I just woke up and straight went blogging, haven't brush my teeth =x
On last week, five days of school, I've skipped 3 of it. The reason is that it's a waste of time in school and that I want to study at home myself. Sometimes I wonder, should I go to school or should I stay and study? Coz I only manage to master a chapter of a subject A DAY! Argh...
Should at least hit two subjects, right? Starting next week, Monday and Tuesday, I will start pushing myself even harder because I do not have much time left and exam's around corner.
And I'm going to stop using the computer, it's like a leech. It sucks my time away and brain too. All my precious time has been killed by it. I could've done anything benefit whether it's big or small. I'm so sorry, my dear 'time'.
A proven research, we will and can easily get obsessed to the computer, and the games. Our brain will be sort of being controlled and we could play continuosly till night ignoring starvation and feeling less tired. It'll drive us crazy! You played the games today, you'll dream of it tonight. This is true, they'll dream bout what they should do in the games, what to buy, what's their next step.etc - So, it's really addictive. I got addicted to Facebook's applications. I'll try control myself.

I'm gonna start preparing to go to church later, Boys Brigade! I wana take leave leh!! If it's not because of the GOH a.k.a. Guard Of Honour practices, I would've took study leave. Anyway, today's pray and worship songleader is ME x)
A bit nervous, maybe. Hope things will go well as what I expected. The songs I chose is Blessed Be Your Name, Your Are My All In All and How Great Is Our God. Actually the How Great Is Our God, I wana replace it with Beautiful Saviour. I keep forgetting to tell Feli!! Aiks~nvm la.

K la, gotta go... ;D

"Make hay while the sun shines"!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

"The Randoms of Me" @ 10:52 PM

Yesterday, something really unhappy happened to me. I feel - a little sort of embarrassed, a little mix feeling of anger and sad. But I never overreact and contain my feelings. Trying to let it be past. Pretending to look at the bright side.
Why do I write the word 'pretend'? Everyday of our lives, everyone who resolves around which includes you and I are actors. Everyone plays a role, with specified identity and vary from one another. The story's beginning, climax till ending depends on us, we make a difference. We are not just actors, but directors and script writters as well. Destiny lies in our hand. Every actions that once made will leads to one another, and it keeps on leading and changing to a whole revolution. Kind of complex, but in the end, everything we thought that actually matters and important to us will not matter anymore. What i'm trying to tell is...I don't even know...I think I know and I think I understand the meaning but I do not know how to present it through words and speeches. It is a feeling, you can't tell nor express.

Today I just watched G.I. Joe weh!! Damn chunn...nice! And I don't even need to pay a cent! I downloaded it from Tom365.com, many nice free movies. Yesterday I watched Iron Man, and the day before I watched Transformer:Rise Of The Fallen. Ahhhsss.....so nice~
After this I'm going to watch The Time Machine, also a very nice movie. ^^

My exam's coming, had to start revising and doing exercises to make sure I understand, at least better than none. I hope holidays faster come, I wana give a shot to be on TV again!!
I know I'm a lazy guy when it comes to study. To be frank, I hate studying and reading books. I can't imagine myself reading a big book which has 1000pages like the movie story 'Harry Potter' written by J.K. Rowling. I mean, it's crap la. I prefer watching the movie which only takes me 2hours at most than reading a book which probably takes a month or two. I like adventures, I like musics, I like travel, I like food - but not books and studies!
And I 100% hate maths and add maths, and physic, probably chemistry too. This is because it requires us to count, and I hate counting and resolving anything that related to numbers, algebra. If money never mind la, RM1000-RM100,000,000 also no problem but it must be mine laa =x I can even find it's value and currency in less than 10sec weh!!

Hmm.. I'm blogging random stuffs, changing topics -.-
Oh yea, I have to tell you guys bout this. Indonesia is going to attack Malaysia. I'm not joking, freaking serious. But not the Indonesia government la, it's the Bendera party, something like MCA. They said they've sent Indonesia James Bond to Malaysia dy worr, lame! A week or two ago, they've already started attacking. Our Indonesia Ambassy in KL was attacked by hundreds of Indonesian students. The main reason Bendera party wants to attack Malaysia is because they state that 'we' (Malaysians) are abusing them (Indonesians). The leader claimed that on October 8th, they will bla..bla.."Ganyang Malaysia", which means "crush Malaysia". But today is October 8 liao weh, nothing geh oO? I'm quite happy if they really come, they also said they will start attacking the Bornea island which is our Sarawak and Sabah state by sending armed mens and hundreds of those who practiced ilmu kebal (black magic). I hope the leader will bom the our Kuala Lumpur Mosque first. And make sure you bom during Waktu Sohor and don't miss the shot, thank you. =)

Tatax!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

"From Now On" @ 4:21 PM

Yes! I've finally back to blogging. Actually I was really planning to stop. Sort of sometimes bored, can't really expel my inner feelings. Many events happened and I actually said nothing bout it, pretend it never really happened or nothing. So...it feels kinda suck.

The main reason I want to blog, infact the main reason of everyone blogging is to share what they go through in their lives beside a open diary. They want others to know what they're going through daily and their thoughts so as the improvements and changes others can see through the person's blog. There's few kinds of bloggers which I dislike, those who privates their blog and and only allow few of his/her friends to view. In my opinion, this total crap. You wana blog, main reason - as mentioned above, and yet you private your blog and only allow certain people to view it. I think it's sort dumb, the reason the blog is privated is most probably you did something which you don't want others to know, maybe something negative or probably critics you want to tell? So you only allow certain people, but what does it mean? What I think is, it's like you telling the certain people you allowed to view the blog of things which you are unhappy about, I mean directly just to them. The whole message you posted was for them. Correct leh? x)
You created a blog to share whatever you want. But at the same time, you privated it -.- I think those who privated their blogs probably inside got those eeky, eeky stuffs =x

Anyway, back to the point besides my sharing point of view bout privated blogs. The reason I'm back blogging is simple. I want people to know what I feel, what I go through, what I've learnt and the things I do like achievements. I hate peoples who only judge others by it's look or those who thinks they know the person pretty much but actually knows nothing. This leads to many internal problems - etc. Z and X are both working under Manager A for the first year. Manager A selects Z to lead the marketing department because he thinks Z can do it and that Z is closer to him compared to X. Z started to learn marketing the year he worked while X already has marketing diploma and has higher marketing experience compared to Z. X was neglected of his talents even that he told his boss because he does not really know how good is X.
Thus, by this story and previous sharings. I hope you readers will actually understand that nothing is actually fair and even that you told them you had better qualification than another, the chances of being chosen is not definite.

Normal people's point of view -
1) how close you are to the person
2) how much the person knows about you
3) your abilities/qualifications

So I'm deciding to start blogging now. To update myself to others thus receive comments and compliments to improve and make myself a better person (no one is perfect). I really do want people to know more about me. I'm not just a somebody. The 'want people to know more about me' is something not just I want it. I belive every bloggers or perhaps everyone feels the same. I mean, why would you want not people to know you? Ridiculous, huh?

Anyway, this is just my sharing. Don't like it. Forget it. Thanks.

TeeeeHeeee!