A Thousand Miles

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

"Now, The Decision Of Life.." @ 4:36 PM

Now, The Decision Of Life..

Past happenings has ended, glad it is.. But I know, some people still ... about it. Never mind, let them do what they want, gossip till they're done. I'm not going to give a damn about it, because I think it'll just lead me straight to fusses and troubles. So.., why not just live on happily? ^^

Well now, I have to decide this *BIG* decision. Even that I don't want to decide now, I'll have to make up my mind soon too, coz the deadline is around the corner. What I'm talking about? Think lol.. xD Erm.., I guess I'm one in the million to be in this situation, deciding which position suite me best that which determine my future. Currently I'm holding two positions. A class monitor and a school prefect trainee (going to interview soon). I can't really have two positions till the end of school. I have to let go one of it.. >.<" The reason that I still considering deeply till now is because of Mr. John! Well, besides my class teacher, Pn. Usha, he's my second idol to be learn from. I pretty much like peoples like them, but some students, they just won't appreciate. You can't really find these teachers outside anywhere nowadays. He looked up on me, I wouldn't want to let him know i quit. It'll seem that I dissapoint him. Before, we had a lot of conversations. He shares with me some parts of his burden bout the school. Haiz.. What should I do?

Some thinks it's actually just a time wasting job (i agree xD), nothing's much really. If I let go, I'll actually be more happy because at least I don't have to work much, stay happy, interact with my classmates more. Life would be more meaningful rather than duty(assembly), study(after), duty(recess) again, study(after), bye bye! (school ends) >.<" If that's the way, I'll make myself damn lonely, I'll even have psychotic problems for not socializing! Can't cope my homeworks. I felt that, eversince I became a prefect, I've been starting to be stress out, in pressure and less cheerful like I once was. I guess it really affects me. Happiness is actually what i was always after in my life. So, I guess, I have to let it go. Somehow I do miss being a prefect. I also like my both leaders/idols. Pn.Usha had helped me a lot since my first day in school. I appreciate so much.. She taught me a lot of things which is not thought in school. I guess, my gratitude, can't be expressed as it's so much and many complex feelings. I can't wait till teacher's day to express my thanks to her! =D

I'm still under consideration mode now though I already told my senior and head prefect that I wanted to quit. Friday I'll be officially leaving. But in this two days time, he wants to think about it and called to think bout it again too. My senior said I never respect the prefectorial board wor.. Want to join, then join already, so fast want to leave pulak.. = ="! lolx.. how leh? HaHaHa... I think he threaten me that if I leave, I'll probably be recorded under the rules for not respecting prefects, something like that. @#$%!!! xD

Don't know la.. Life seems so complex as we got older. I missed my childhood days >.< Hope I won't regret after my decisions been made because, there'll be no turning back.

Happiness, my meaning of life. P.S: If I let go the burden in me. After exam, probably I should find some time hunting for love relationships. Haha...jkjk

Wish me best oF luck! ^^