A Thousand Miles

Thursday, August 13, 2009

"Something I Just Can't Loose" @ 3:37 PM

Yesterday night, something happened when my tuition class just end. I was shocked when I saw it but at the mean time, I was really happy and glad. Somehow, I felt a little bit of excitement in me which actually cheered me up after the mass dissapointment of my exam performance.

Received something from X. I thought of replying X and I almost did, but did not. When I was ready, finished writting and about to press the 'send' button, suddenly my heart and mind strucked me (trying to tell me something). I was stunned and went in deep thoughts for minutes.
Maybe I shouldn't send it to X (told myself). I don't want to lose a friend like X. What if X does not feel the same way about me? N maybe X sent it to me because X wanted to find out coz someone probably told her. What if I told X the truth and X actually doesn't feel the same way towards me? N if that happens, X will start avoiding me and we would never be good friends ever again as we were now. I've been thinking of telling X all about it, but I know I can't. Which has kept me to kept this in my heart all these days. I guess the ending point is near. Where all unknown will be reavealed and resolved. What should I do?? I can't do it. I'm afraid of loosing X. N I don't want so.
The 'hope' part of me is telling me that X will probably accept and give me a chance. But, it doesn't seems to be happening now.

It's a risk I'm afraid to take. I just don't want to lose X. =(