A Thousand Miles

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

"Why I So EmO arr?" @ 1:44 PM

Sometimes I just don't get it. Why do I get so emo, usually at night. Just can't shake that feeling off me. I felt that there's actually two person in me. Devil and Angel? -.-

Hmm...regarding my last post. I said I was a lonely freak, seems to had a lot of friends but actually I had nobody. I think it's because the 'weak' inside of me demands companionship. That's what I think it is la. Sometimes when I eat, I read, I watch tv, go online, lie on bed. Somehow, I felt lonely, felt alone. I tried to find someone, my school frens, my church's or my tuition friends. I chat with them, through SMS. Not even 3messages, I felt bored. Wanted to stop and wanted to be away from the person. Then... I felt lonely again, and I don't know why. I've checked the web, asked my friend, some small research when I was bored, got nothing else to do. N this is result I got.
I think the companionship I needed is not just a friend, not friendship - but love. A part of me seems like it wants me to have this special someone to be a part of my life. A person whom I like, I love. Someone who you will not get bored of easily, someone who you care so much and that she cares for you the same. Someone who shares with you the same interest, guiding each other in studies and go through life moments. I wished I could really have this special someone. Or will I even find it?

It's just crazy dream. And I dreamt about it. I was sad that it ended and that I had to leave and go back to reality. Many dreams, unachieved, unreachable.
Deep inside I know, it's like climbing up a tree, as high as you can with high hopes to touch the moon. Suddenly, you slipped and fell 5storeys' high off the tree and *poof*. It'll just be a dream, just an imagination. You woke up, rubbed your eyes, thinking back of what happened, you smiled, you laughed at yourself and said, 'I wished it was real'.

"I wished..."

It is once said, we wished because it gives us hope, we hope because it is our dream. We dream to achieve and realise it and it's dream which keeps us on-going and not to give up. What if it's just a tale? =(
There is so many things in this world, undiscovered - hidden.

Hmm... What will happen after I left? EEeee......

" I don't want to know ". -_-