A Thousand Miles

Saturday, October 24, 2009

"What If?" @ 1:38 AM

What if you know that the bestfriend who you always treasure does not feel the same about you?
What if one day you went shopping and you see him with all other friends without inviting you?
What if you forgive him in heart and it happened another time as if God wants you to know?
What would you react to these friends?
What if you yelled and scold him and them badly?
What if you head straight and punch them instead?
What if..., you ran away to and pretend that there's no exist of this memory?

If you had a friend like that, what would you do?
You treat him as good friend of yours and updates him anytime.
He needs something, with your open-kind heart, you gave to him. But in return, there's nothing.
He does not wait for you like how you always do.
He does not care about your feelings as he cares the other two.

No respect will I show to this person, no loyalty will there be anymore. As he has been blinded by all the others from a 'just' me. I do not deserve to be like this, he's just not worthy.

Today, my mood's not that good. It was okay when the whole afternoon till tonight's Physic tuition. Something happened.
Because of her, I felt so bad. Because of her, I felt unhappy. Because of her, I felt dissapoint. Because of her, I felt embarrassed.
How come she could affect me like that? I felt like I'm wreck through that time. She's just an ordinary person. There is others who also gave comments and critics, but I felt ok and I did not get upset nor anything negative. But whatever it seems that she said to me, leaves a scar to remember.
Maybe, I've thought too much. Maybe it's just a sudden flood of confused emotions. Go take a sleep and you'll be find the next day.

This coming Sunday, I'm moving to a new house. I've been talking bout it and my friends knew it since last year. Finally we're ready to move. My new house is located at Segar Perdana. It's a double-storey semi-D. I think it's counted as 2 and a 1/2 story now coz there a small third story built. Hope my house would be nice. I haven't seen it yet, not with all the paints and furnitures on. The new area's great. Privated and secured. Very near to Econsave and plenty of shoplots around. Quite convenient.

Lately, I think there's something wrong in me. I'm starting to forget things and my emotions and responses became so dull. I'm guessing I'm having some big illness. I felt weak and stupid. There's this few symptoms which really bothers me.
etc;
1. I yawn frequently and feels lack of oxygen which makes me easily sleepy
2. My memory to memorise things become very thin and easily forgets
3. My thoughts starting to become typical from complex.
4. Charismatic skills getting worse and couldn't present my ideas continuously
5. The question is simple to solve but it seems like my brain got lagged and interprets slow

Those are a few of the symptoms which I think I'm experiencing nowadays. I feel I'm getting nuts.
Doctor, doctor, where are you? x_X