A Thousand Miles

Thursday, March 31, 2011

"PS!" @ 2:00 AM

PS, temporary post.

I don't think I'll be updating for some time. Seemed like most of my posts here are during down times, never put up much photos too to share. 'Privacy & Confidential'..lol HAHA! Recently everything's been going great and i'm on path and schedule. Many had happened, how should say .. happy n' peace :)

I think, i might fall in .. soon? nahh...haha, gorsh! not the kind of thing for me =p
Few things are still under my things-to-do list. I havent join DAP yet, political party. Didnt find time to apply my Maybank acc too. Not to mention buyin new clothes and some fashion accessories! Been spending quite some valuable time with college mates as well as my ex-schoolmates, had karaoke after SPM results released and futsal matches too. It was splendid, pretty tired still as i'm not really a sports person. Trying my best fulfilling my life, embracing many of the moments :D

Exams for A Lvels started too, but its only LAN subjects, Moral Studies and Malaysian Studies. Didn't revise well =x hope my marks are fairly well -.- Been playing games called Civilization V, i like war and colonies and those related so on. It's pretty tough considered the game's difficulty level I always chose, since having to reset my game play starting a new game over and over from time to time. I learn quite some important knowledge's too through such strategy games, allocation focus, war techniques, citizens happiness and what or not to be placed on priority as well as international welfare. Leaderships!

Yes, leaderships! Yet another matter to concern, practicing and honing my skills, charisma and presentation of many aspects and others. It is said, "a person with knowledge does not mean the person is wise". Which means, even if the person may excelled in his studies, education rectification, or possession of much knowledge does not mean one is wise, as wise involves having to know how to apply one's knowledge in real-time situations, strategies, techniques and tactics.

Anyway, gotta go.
I'll give my all in this path of mine.
I will make my way, and realise my wishes =)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

"In the end" @ 9:35 PM

I could've died, could've killed myself.
I'm such a fool, yes, i am.
In the end, it was money that mattered to me.
All these downtimes that is filling me.
It was true, that hardworks pays and latter the same.
I know, I know i could've done better.
I'm such a fool, yes, i am.
I'm very down, frustrated.
As if I'd lost myself,
those jealousy fills my heart, my mind.
I could've died.
Right now, regrets is not an option nor a thing to do or brag about.
I will be fine.
I just need, some time, some rest, some aspiration, to get over it.
I will make it, make it to the top.
Have everyone I see infront of me.
Have everyone see, i'm infront of them.
Have my life, my life .. once again.

I will work hard,
I will study hard,
I will play hard,
I will social hard,
I will embrace hard,
I will torture myself,
for pain feeds my soul.
of course, all that really matters . . my life

I WILL SUCCEED!

Friday, March 18, 2011

"If today was like yesterday." @ 2:29 AM

Sometimes, like now - im feeling kind of down. Nostalgic feelings derived from accumulating thoughts from everything. I wonder what've I been doing now. I'm leading my college life now henceforth, shouldn't I be doing a lot of things chasing dreams? Few years back including last year before SPM, days like these were ones I kept waiting and hoping for. Leave off highschool and enter into a new surreal life phase. I once questioned myself in heart whether I might regret wanting to leave so much caring less of the presence(that time), I thought deep and said 'I wont'. I'd never liked the life I lead in highschool, I dislike the school, this country and everything to it. I wished I had other choices, other places where I can go. I didn't like public schools and especially the cultures, way of life we're leading. Sometimes I thought maybe I was born in the wrong place, anyhow I was glad Im not born in poor places like Ethiopia. Like every child dreams, I had my own. I wished .. I'd always wanted, to spend my days at Japan, I like every part of their cultures and ways, it's like almost everything i cant describe. It was pretty disappointing when I got to know my Japan Student Exchange Transfer Scholarship didnt make it. DAMN! If not,..if not i might not be here right now. I'd be there for the entire year. Studying there as a japanese highschool student(18 in Japan is still highschool-third year), joining the band clubs, sports festives and cultural events which is common to be found in the many Japan highschools, Bon Odori Festive, tea culture, learning to write japanese kanji, enjoy soba noodles, onsen and many many more i cant fit all !!

Damn..(regrets) the music right now, really brings back the time, the perfect moments. Kami-sama(God), I wished..I would find what I truely want, what truely satisfy and brings me happiness. It is true that utility could never be satisfy and as a human we would always have unlimited wants. I wonder..what would I want to have? Given a choice to be an influential person, rich-wealthy like those magnet businessman(i'd really liked that, Donald Trump.etc), a much of a dream everyone wishes to live. But if i could, I'd like to exchange all those for just a simpler life yet meaningful, living a scenic rather simple life at peaceful prefecture in Japan, Osaka maybe(like how we wished for a perfect retirement to embrace as much as we could). A nice moderate house, savouring the four seasons(spring,autumn,fall,winter) with warm green tea in hands, the kind of vision we may picture, so i want. Of course, I know. Life isn't as simple, I wished I was smart as a whip enough, earn stocks of fortunes via internet, and what goes on.

I think I should look things back to where I am now, i know, it is impossible to do so. I wanted to enjoy all these during my youth years, i could not grasp it anymore as im slowly .. slowly the unfilled space devides further apart. I'm still learning to about shares and the markets recently, planning to start some investments. Might be risky and chances of risking all the money i made, which is quite a handsome sum. I wanted to make more money rather than just working, a smarter, easier and susceptible way. If I were to depend on just working for others, that is which exactly how people never escape from the poor cirle! Next year, I'll be heading to Japan, I'm planning to or maybe visit latest during my second year degree? Planned for a homestay there for a month and did my surveys, estimate costs would be around 5thousand inculding air taxes n tixs. Items there are pretty pricy, a coke there might cost about RM3-5 here, hair cut is around RM50+! Haha..5000 should be okay i guess, of course, extras is needed. Im a glutinous guy when it comes to japanese foods, sushis especially :)

Awwwwwww....I so miss all of it. Going sushi buffet again this Sunday@KL, gonna eat till my heart's content. I loved you Japan, it breaks my heart tragics happened.

Watashiwa sugoku ureshii, nihon wa watashiwa daisuki, hontoni!
Matte na, watashiwa kitto kairimasu, dai ni no hia =)

Oyasumi.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

"A Dense Day." @ 7:17 PM

Finished my 4moral assignments last night along with the main assignment for today(els). Internet helps out a lot, so things got done rather smoothly but still took time to absorb as much while duplicating some of the important facts. MochiGirl on Friday, 11th proposed an idea to raise money to help out the Japanese which is currently in a severe situation right now due to the earthquake which brought tsunami along and to make matters worse, a nuclear power plant explosion occurred. It was posted on the facebook group site i found, the response was well-received and many was interested in it. Few ideas were exchanged during their discussions. Decided to help out, because.. i liked japan XD and am on savings plan so i could travel there by next year or so during term breaks. Which is still quite far from reach. Anyway, i really thought of helping her though I don't know much about MochiGirl since we're still new. Did made several approaches by chatting from time to time with her via fb, so far she's cool.

Yesterday, I decided to take an initiative and accompanied her along. We planned to meet up near the OldTown at 8.30am to meet Mr.Raja Singham to propose the charity event today. Turns out both of us were early, we were there at 8.00am. I slept for freakin' 3hours for the night! Went through the 4 storeys of the building in search of the cafeteria. =_=
We can't seem to find it and so we waited at the main office then. We sat down, she dotted down her els essay from her printed work diligently and we waited for his arrival. Was then told that he wont be there when she asked one of the workers after some loooong time later. Went for breakfast at an indian restaurant then. After, we rushed to our class as the time's over 10am and on our way towards near the building, Mr. Raja Singham just arrive too; got out from his ride and then she goes proposing the idea of hers. I was uneagered.

Feels dumb today, stupid fatigue that caught me. One of the reasons not doing anything audacious today. Kinda of disappointed. Didnt communicate much, and time passed by insignificantly including when we're at the office and the indian restaurant. She was so focussed, was worried that i might hinder and slow down her work. (mmm)
Wanted to help out, wanted to step up and play a role and at the end of the class as well when the election thing and after - the committee discussion & suggestion sessions they had. It was frustrating. My body physiologically going against my will! And.., for the leading election of the charity project, i'd actually prefer her to lead, its a shame that the votes differs by a few which would've make a lot difference.
(mayb i should try raise my 2hands and feets as well? *laughs*)

I think she could do well since she had put in many thoughts into this than the others who just got to know later. She shows certain quality traits, and this event's a kind of major thing too. Anyway I don't want someone got chosen due to his/her popularity preference gained from gigs n jokes impressions. Prefer things to be taken in a more thoughtful manner, understanding the intentions; have certain qualities, capability and leaderships.
Wished my conditions was better today so i could voice out as well, I was like a half-dead person..each time when i'm worn-out, i become reluctant and everything would turn out tiring and cumbersome, even talking itself! One of my weakness ..

During the discussion, was pretty irritated with the many craps/jokes and all. Wasted a lot of time, many left and few were there stil. Many points and many propositions i wanted to share in my mind then. I wished could help lead .. feel so bad about it =(
It's not bout her or the event, but mostly of my own expectations which i fail to comply. Definitely, must get a better sleep today!! pump out for tomorrow and everything else. Hmm..There is a lot going through my mind right now, Msian Study exam's coming..ahhH! Things seems to come out pretty random, go recharge! ><

Anyway, gtg.
Hope things goes well. :)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

"Compilation Complete! =)" @ 3:20 AM

I'm so beat up right now,
I'm glad that I've finally set this blog up.
It's been way back then since I last blogged as you can see the posts' dates which differs much. Took me some time to gather all my posts from several blog sites to compile it here, since i've changed my blog sites several times few years back then.

Gaaahh...tired, tomorrow would be a tough day as I've to prepare for the day after(Sunday). I've got a singing competition ahead, passed the audition and is now part of the top40 towards top20. Geez..was it even a right thing that I participated? Seems like I lost my will, spirit and passion to keep up. To add on my burdens, i've got guitar class at 9am beforehand! Oh my ..

I wana sleeeeeeP! D;

Anyway, I'll try to manage it somehow, I mean, I have to either.
Thanks to a gal, Atom Buzz or smtg(4got) for lending her shoulder, made me felt better. I wonder what's with me lately.

Was i..was i.. it can't be.

Kono sekai, watashiwa..nanka chotto kanashii,
demo..naze, naze yume mitai ja nai?

Oyasumi, kono sekai wa.
Gambaru! :)