A Thousand Miles

Friday, March 18, 2011

"If today was like yesterday." @ 2:29 AM

Sometimes, like now - im feeling kind of down. Nostalgic feelings derived from accumulating thoughts from everything. I wonder what've I been doing now. I'm leading my college life now henceforth, shouldn't I be doing a lot of things chasing dreams? Few years back including last year before SPM, days like these were ones I kept waiting and hoping for. Leave off highschool and enter into a new surreal life phase. I once questioned myself in heart whether I might regret wanting to leave so much caring less of the presence(that time), I thought deep and said 'I wont'. I'd never liked the life I lead in highschool, I dislike the school, this country and everything to it. I wished I had other choices, other places where I can go. I didn't like public schools and especially the cultures, way of life we're leading. Sometimes I thought maybe I was born in the wrong place, anyhow I was glad Im not born in poor places like Ethiopia. Like every child dreams, I had my own. I wished .. I'd always wanted, to spend my days at Japan, I like every part of their cultures and ways, it's like almost everything i cant describe. It was pretty disappointing when I got to know my Japan Student Exchange Transfer Scholarship didnt make it. DAMN! If not,..if not i might not be here right now. I'd be there for the entire year. Studying there as a japanese highschool student(18 in Japan is still highschool-third year), joining the band clubs, sports festives and cultural events which is common to be found in the many Japan highschools, Bon Odori Festive, tea culture, learning to write japanese kanji, enjoy soba noodles, onsen and many many more i cant fit all !!

Damn..(regrets) the music right now, really brings back the time, the perfect moments. Kami-sama(God), I wished..I would find what I truely want, what truely satisfy and brings me happiness. It is true that utility could never be satisfy and as a human we would always have unlimited wants. I wonder..what would I want to have? Given a choice to be an influential person, rich-wealthy like those magnet businessman(i'd really liked that, Donald Trump.etc), a much of a dream everyone wishes to live. But if i could, I'd like to exchange all those for just a simpler life yet meaningful, living a scenic rather simple life at peaceful prefecture in Japan, Osaka maybe(like how we wished for a perfect retirement to embrace as much as we could). A nice moderate house, savouring the four seasons(spring,autumn,fall,winter) with warm green tea in hands, the kind of vision we may picture, so i want. Of course, I know. Life isn't as simple, I wished I was smart as a whip enough, earn stocks of fortunes via internet, and what goes on.

I think I should look things back to where I am now, i know, it is impossible to do so. I wanted to enjoy all these during my youth years, i could not grasp it anymore as im slowly .. slowly the unfilled space devides further apart. I'm still learning to about shares and the markets recently, planning to start some investments. Might be risky and chances of risking all the money i made, which is quite a handsome sum. I wanted to make more money rather than just working, a smarter, easier and susceptible way. If I were to depend on just working for others, that is which exactly how people never escape from the poor cirle! Next year, I'll be heading to Japan, I'm planning to or maybe visit latest during my second year degree? Planned for a homestay there for a month and did my surveys, estimate costs would be around 5thousand inculding air taxes n tixs. Items there are pretty pricy, a coke there might cost about RM3-5 here, hair cut is around RM50+! Haha..5000 should be okay i guess, of course, extras is needed. Im a glutinous guy when it comes to japanese foods, sushis especially :)

Awwwwwww....I so miss all of it. Going sushi buffet again this Sunday@KL, gonna eat till my heart's content. I loved you Japan, it breaks my heart tragics happened.

Watashiwa sugoku ureshii, nihon wa watashiwa daisuki, hontoni!
Matte na, watashiwa kitto kairimasu, dai ni no hia =)

Oyasumi.